Characters:

• DANNY (age 30)
• RAYMOND (age 37)

Danny and Raymond are brothers. They aren’t close and there has always been tension between them. Raymond is cocksure and aggressive; Danny is quiet and sensitive. Danny has recently returned to their home village after than a decade away. Raymond is in prison for violent assault.

The scene takes place in the visiting hall of a Glasgow prison in the mid-90s.

As the scene begins, Raymond is seated at a small table, confidently swinging in his chair and nodding to other prisoners and their visitors. Danny enters hesitantly walking towards the table as Raymond raises an arm…

(shouts) Well, here he is, boys … the junior league Walter Smith! (pause) Sit!

DANNY (to audience)

I don’t want to be here. Raymond, my older brother, doesn’t want to be here either. At least I can leave. He is serving nine years for GBH. Four years ago, he battered a drunk guy and put him in a coma for six weeks. He thought the guy owed him money. Poor auld Jock Reid. An innocent victim. A case of mistaken identity. (He sits)

Whit took ye? fuck sake! Ye’ve been home for three months an’ this is yer first visit? (pause) Nancy no’ wi’ ye?

DANNY (to audience)

Nancy? Well, there’s the root of our problem … Raymond and me.

DANNY

Ah’ve been busy since I got back.

Busy? Fuck sake! (pause) Yer late, tae. Ye never used tae be late. Ye were always on time. Remember aw they times ye hassled everybody, shoutin’ that ye couldnae be late … or ye’d get dropped for the next game? (pause) ‘Member?

DANNY

Aye. Ah remember.

So, what happened here then? Whit’s the excuse? Have ye no’ got a wee note for the teacher, son?

DANNY

Jesus, Raymond … ah missed the bus, aw’right? Gonnae drop it, eh?

Fuck sake, Danny boy. I’m just rowin’ yer tail, son. (laughs)

DANNY

How’s things, then?

Fine. Same aul’, same auld.

DANNY

Can imagine.

Can ye? Can ye really?

DANNY

Ah didnae mean it like that.

Ye seein’ Mam regularly?

DANNY

Aye. Listen, Raymond, there’s something ah need tae tell ye …

(interrupts) Are ye fuck! Higgy says ye’ve been twice.

DANNY

Aye, well.

She’s fucken dyin’, ye know that don’t ye?

DANNY

Well, obviously. But ah cannae dae anythin’ about that, can ah? Ah don’t have a miracle cure.

Ye can gie her a bit ae comfort, though, in her last few weeks, ya selfish wee bastard!

DANNY (to audience)

This is a dilemma. I tell him right now … he blows up … and months get added to his time. (pause) On the other hand. I’m not a heartless bastard like he is.

DANNY

Look, maybe ah should come back another ti—

Fucken sit there … this is my time.

DANNY (to audience)

It’s a Visitors Centre. I’m the visitor … but, aye, it’s all about him.

Raymond takes a roll-up from a pocket. He looks over at a guard then holds it up waiting for approval. Raymond then hands it to Danny, but Danny holds him hands up and shakes his head.

DANNY (to audience)

Nancy doesn’t like the smell.

‘Sup? Chucked them?

DANNY

Aye.

Raymond shrugs. Takes the cigarette and, after holding the lighter up for approval, lights it for himself.

DANNY

Had tae make myself available tae play, just in case. So, ah gave them up.

When?

DANNY

A month ago.

Bloody hell … better self-discipline than me. Hats off tae ye, son. (pause) Heard the Lugar game wis a bit radio rental. Lost yer temper, ah hear. Just like the auld days. (pause) Young Gilmour bailed ye out though?

DANNY

Aye. (pause) Sounds like ye were there.

Still got ma sources. (pause) Folk oot there … watchin’ ye. (winks)

DANNY (to audience)

Watching me doing what? Does he already know?

DANNY

Ye needin’ anythin’?

Get us a few copies ae the Loaded magazines, eh? (Danny nods) Good work, fella.

DANNY

Anythin’ else?

Aye. As a matter ae fact …

He turns and snaps his fingers

Boss, any chance ae a loan ae a wee pencil an’ a sheet ae yer pad? (pause) Cheers Mr Harris.

Raymond writes on the paper and then hands it to Danny

It’s the wean’s birthday in a few weeks. Get him somethin’, will ye? Fae me, like. Use yer imagination.

DANNY

Em, aye. Sure. (pause) Whit’s yer budget?

Up tae you.

DANNY (to audience)

That’s his code for ‘use your own money’.

Ah’ll see ye sorted good an’ proper when ah get out. (pause)

DANNY

Aye, right. (pause) Yer boy’s growin’ up fast.

Aye? Wee Damo?

DANNY

How many more weans have ye got?

RAYMOND

None … that ah’m payin’ for, at any rate. (laughs) Tough kid, that yin. Last time ah saw him on the outside, he tipped a can ae fucken beer ower my head. Nae warnin’, or nothin’. Mindin’ ma ain business. Up he comes. Starts screamin’ at me. Before ah can get up tae him, ah’m wearin’ a fucken lager shampoo. Damo, man … he’s no’ normal, like.

DANNY

Normal? What’s normal? Like you “normal”, ye mean?

RAYMOND

He’s fucken mental, that yin.

DANNY

Wonder where he gets that fae.

RAYMOND

(Leans in) So, have ye seen her, then?

DANNY

Who? Mam? Dinnae start th—

RAYMOND

Nancy. (pause) My Nancy? Thought she might’ve been wi’ ye.

DANNY (to audience)

The “my” is unexpected. Little point in lying though. Higgy has already seen to that.

DANNY

Aye. Ah took Damo tae the game on Saturday. She was there when ah picked him up.

RAYMOND

Aye? That the first time?

DANNY (to audience)

It definitely wasn’t the first time.

RAYMOND

So, whit d’ye think? She’s class, eh? Did she mention me?

DANNY

(hesitates) What? Em, ah’m no’ sure. Em … what d’ye mean?

RAYMOND

(agitated) Nancy! Fuck sake, son. Keep up.

Raymond puts another roll-up in his mouth. He looks at the guard, points at the fag and gives a thumbs-up when he gets the approval

Listen, ah’m dead straight when ah’m outta here. Nae fucken danger. Ah’ve messed her an’ the wee man about somethin’ terrible. But that’s aw gonnae stop, Danny boy. It’s gonnae be a whole new me. Kickin’ the fucken Charlie right intae touch this time. Ah mean it, nae temptations.

DANNY (to audience)

He sounds determined but that’s probably easier closer to a release than on the first day. Raymond’s had more fresh starts than Tommy Docherty’s had football clubs. They all end the same way: struggling to come to terms with not having paid work, or with the relentless boredom of being in it. Drugs and booze and criminality filling the gap. He’ll never be happy, and neither will those forced to be around him.

RAYMOND

Ah fucken love her. And the wean. (Raymond reaches over the table) Here, gie’s that paper back.

He hums/sings a familiar tune trying to get the words right.

Heard this great song oan the radio earlier? Whit was it again? (Hums tune)

DANNY

A radio? (surprised)

RAYMOND

Aye. Ah’ve got a radio. And a telly. And a windae. (pause) It’s no’ fucken Alcatraz, ye know! (Sings hesitantly to himself) “She told me that … her da wis loaded …”

DANNY

(quietly) Maybe ye’d be better off staying here then—

RAYMOND

(Ignores Danny) Ach … Common People … That’s it. That’s the one.

(Writes on the paper)

Get us a CD ae that tae … just the single though, ah’m no’ made ae money.

DANNY

Why?

RAYMOND

Tae gie tae Nancy. Fae me. Tae let her know ah love her.

DANNY (to audience)

She’d hate it. The song. The gesture. Everything about it lacks an understanding of her. They have a child together, but he knows absolutely nothing about her. Nothing about love. If he did, he already know she isn’t coming back. That she’s moved on. That Nancy is with me now.

DANNY

It’s no’ a love song.

RAYMOND

Eh? (pause) Whit ye talkin’ about?

DANNY

Common People. The Pulp song … It isnae a love song. (Raymond looks puzzled)

RAYMOND

(sings) She wants tae sleep with common people like me …

Eh, aye it fucken is.

DANNY

It’s a song about an arrogant arsehole tryin’ tae make a fool ae a rich lassie for slummin’ it wi’ workin’ class people.

Raymond looks at the Guard, gesturing towards Danny. He shrugs and laughs

RAYMOND

Jesus … who ae you, Paul Gambaccini? (pause) Christ Almighty! (smirks)

Well, just get her somethin’ else then. The Take That yin … whit is it again … Back For Good. Aye. That’ll dae. That’s a better message tae send. (pause)

Aye, ah need tae settle down, son. This stretch has been fucken murder. Too many youngsters in here now. Aw desperate tae prove a point. Desperate tae take somebody down.

DANNY

(quietly) How, has somethin’ happened?

RAYMOND

Ach, nothin’ ah cannae deal wi’. It’s just …

DANNY (to audience)

After the Polmont year, Raymond was as hard as nails. The place did that to him. But he’s different now. He’s talking about challenges from young hardmen exactly like he was back in 1980. He’s too old and fucked now. (pause) Maybe this is the time.

DANNY

Look, Raymond, about that … ah need tae t—

RAYMOND

She’s fucken braw, eh … Nancy, ah mean?

DANNY

(sighs) Christ, Raymond. What ah’m ah meant tae say tae that?

RAYMOND

Whit? We always used tae compare burds!

DANNY (to audience)

We didn’t.

RAYMOND

You, wi’ yon wee Alison Currie. Me wi’ her maw!

DANNY

(annoyed) Bugger off!

RAYMOND

Anyway, ah’m done wi’ aw that skirt-chasin’. Nancy’s the one for me, son. Ah’d gladly fix her maw a one-way ticket tae Siberia, mind you. But a couple ae years an’ we can get her fired intae a care home. Then it’ll be just me an’ Nancy.

DANNY

And Damo.

RAYMOND

Aw, aye. Of course. An’ the wean.

DANNY (to audience)

The way he speaks about her though. When Nancy is the subject, he’s a different Raymond from the one I remember. I’m suddenly jealous of him and I can’t work out why. It’s a strange emotion. I haven’t known her long but it’s obvious that the rest of her life would be wasted waiting for Raymond’s miraculous conversion from small-time village ned to someone reliable, loving, and trusting. (pause)

And as for Damo, well Raymond’s never been that good at looking after children. He fucking abandoned me after all. Twice.

DANNY

Listen … ah went tae see auld Jock Reid’s widow.

Raymond suddenly reaches over and grabs Danny’s arm. Danny tries to pull away but Raymond grips tightly

Fuck, Raymond. Yer hurtin’ me.

Raymond looks towards the guard

RAYMOND

It’s fine, Boss. Just gie’in the boy here a wee Chinese burn. Aul’ times sake, ken?

(whispers) Whit the fuck, Danny? You stay clear, right?

DANNY

Ah’m just helpin’ her out. Doin’ the garden, an’ stuff.

RAYMOND

Christ’s sake … ye’ve barely been tae visit yer dyin’ mam, but ye’ve got time tae plant flowers an’ cut hedges?

DANNY

It’s no’ like that. Ah felt sorry for her. Everythin’ she’s been through.

RAYMOND

Her? Whit about me? Ah’m stuck in this shitehole because ae Jock Reid. (pause)

Well, ye know what ah mean. Look Danny, dinnae be growin’ a conscience. No’ after aw this time. Who would that benefit, eh? Ah mean, Christ’s sake, it wis a fucken lifetime ago. We’ve aw suffered, specially me. An’ it wis a bloody accident, son. Ye know that.

DANNY

Look, ah need tae go.

RAYMOND

Ye’ve just bloody got here.

DANNY

Ah’ll see ye next time.

RAYMOND

Don’t you fucken dare fuck up this release!

DANNY

What release?

RAYMOND

My news. Ah’ve finally got the date through. Ah’m gettin’ out ae here in six weeks, thank fuck, so you stay clear ae that aul’ woman, right?

DANNY (to audience)

Well, that changes the stakes. (pause) Fuck it! Tell him.

RAYMOND

Danny? Danny! Dae ye hear me? Stop dreamin’, will ye? Ah need a big favour. Can ye make sure Nancy comes an’ pick us up? Just her though, no’ Damo. She’s still got the wee motor ah got her in Ernie’s garage.

DANNY (to audience)

Just fucken tell him!

RAYMOND

Look, it’s a bit fucken awkward cos we had a big fall-out last time she was here. Ah know she still loves us, but ah need ye tae play the peacemaker for me.

Danny stands, about to leave

Hey! Ye said you had somethin’ tae tell me.

DANNY

Eh?

RAYMOND

When ye came in. Earlier. Ye said ye had somethin’ tae tell me. Spit it out then.

DANNY (To audience)

(defiantly) I’m seeing Nancy. I … am seeing Nancy. His Nancy (pause) Me and Nancy, we’re together now.

Danny takes a deep breath. There’s an extended pause.

DANNY

It can wait.

END